Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
only you would photoshop your dick
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize