is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
