well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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