was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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