im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
