So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
