Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
