Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i think i have two assholes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
