So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
