he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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