he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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