mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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