im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Success! We fucked roommates!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
