i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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