i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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