plz talk dirty to me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
