I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
