garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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