So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
