how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
