I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
