summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
