I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize