Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
