I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You are the jesus of drinking
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
