How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
