I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
