Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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