The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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