I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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