Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
