Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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