apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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