it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
