its not stalking. its research.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
