why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
we're so committed to being not committed
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
