It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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