definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
