I'm really into asian looking animals
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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