let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
