About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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