How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
