Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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