Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
