the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
