You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
