Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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