What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
