The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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