i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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