she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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