the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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