I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
