The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
