The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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