Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think I am morally bankrupt
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Randomize
