I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
