What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
