And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize