I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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