I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
