You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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