she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
