What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
