Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
