So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Panties = found
Randomize
